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Circle of Life: God Orchestrating the Intricate Pieces of our Lives

3/30/2019

11 Comments

 
  Disclaimer: If this report fails to agree with another’s recollection, please accept my apology as this is my view from a short window of time and may not coincide with another's.

Captain Donald B. Smallwood passed to his Mansion in the sky on March 10, 2019.  He will be sorely missed.
If you’re interested in reading how God orchestrates our lives...read on.
 
Captain Donald B. Smallwood was my husband's captain when he was in Viet Nam in 1968 (although he was not my husband at the time). Reports indicate they were on a Search and Destroy Operation called Pikes Peak 1 when they engaged the enemy in a very bad fire fight. Afterward the men all backed off to what they thought would be a safe distance.  Unfortunately this is when the defective short round from friendly fire landed in their perimeter.  Records state there were three killed and 12 wounded.

I have a letter written to Gene by Captain Smallwood in September of 2000.  I'm quoting...
Dear Gene,
      It always makes me feel great when you and Carol come to the 5th Infantry Division reunion each year.  Gene, I
think highly of you, both as a man and a friend.  I have long admired you for being so brave, calm and collected on the night you were so severely wounded.  I firmly believe that a lesser man would have given up hope and died.  I heard you calling me, and I went to you and knelt on my knees.  You were silently crying, and you asked me, "Sir, no one else will tell me the truth, but I know you will.  Am I going to make it?"  I actually believed you would die any moment, but I hugged you and replied, "Yes, Sargent Greenberg, you are going to make it."  At that moment, you relaxed, and you were an inspiration to all of your fellow soldiers, Gene.  It was hours before a MED-EVAC chopper came, and you talked to everyone and encouraged the other wounded men by your cheerful, confident attitude.  There were many other wounded. Gene, you can stand tall no matter where you are, because you are a very tall man among men.  Throughout the long years, I never forgot you or your name.  I used to tell everyone about you, because I was so proud of you.  One day my phone rang and it was Dennis Knight asking, "Is this the Captain Smallwood who commanded Delta Company, 1st Bn, 11th Inf. in Vietnam?  I was so stunned after 25 years of not hearing from anyone, that I cried.  One of the first things I asked Dennis was, "have you found Sergeant Eugene Greenberg?"  He hadn't found you, but it wasn't long after he did."
I​t is my understanding Gene was one of the most severely wounded. Captain Smallwood attempted to call in a chopper to get the wounded out, but due to the area being a "hot zone," it appeared they would not come in. As he said, it was hours later before that happened.  Captain then told them there was a Lt. Colonel wounded. There was, but not fatally; however, this did facilitate getting the chopper in to get Greenberg and the others out. They placed him on that chopper and transported him to the Repose Hospital Ship. Those men never knew whether Gene lived or died for 25 years until Dennis Knight began to search for everyone to invite them to a reunion. They met together, God met them, and tremendous healing began.
 
It was at that time that Captain told me the rest of the story which you read in his quote, stating he did not believe what he was telling Gene, but God used those words of encouragement to keep Gene grounded and stoked his passion and determination to live.

               Late summer 2019, I get a text from Captain stating:           
“Carol, Eugene was one of my favorite NCO’s.  I was impressed by his will to live. Many men would not have coped with what he did.  I am aware that you played a large role in helping him, I’m glad you did.”
I began making plans to visit Captain.  Our visit was delayed due to several interruptions: a jury duty call, work training, and then the couple of contagious infections he acquired.  The day after I made reservations to visit, I received information from his sister that as a result of all of his illnesses, pain, and long-term dialysis, “Donald decided he does not want to continue dialysis.”  He is ready to go home.”  I changed my flight plans and arrived early.  On Wednesday when I arrived, I sent his sisters out to have dinner together, as they had been taking care of him for several weeks.  Then I sent them home to get some much needed rest, and I stayed with Captain in the hospital Wednesday night.  I had some oil in my suitcase.  I put on some music and I began massaging his feet, legs, arms, and hands. 

He said, “I bet you took really good care of Gene.  I bet there isn’t another fifth division wife that would do for me what you are doing.” 

I responded, “There isn’t another 5th Division wife that has the bond I have with you since you are the reason my husband came home.” 

Captain stated, “You don’t owe me anything.” 

I responded, “I never said I did, so don’t put words in my mouth”

“Okay," he replied, as he smiled at me.

We talked about heaven, and what it might be like when he arrived and leaving this world and the pain behind.  We wondered if he might possibly have any recollection of what is going on down here.  But I suggested that if there was a chance, “Would you please tell Gene I said, hi.”

He smiled and replied, “You bet I will!”

After about 20-30 minutes of music, and massage, and pain meds, his pain level reduced to
a one and we settled in for the night. I listened as he talked in his sleep, thinking he was trying to get my attention and needed something.  Then I heard him laugh.  I finally realized he wasn’t   needing anything, but he was sleeping well.  It was a God-given time to minister to him as he was so faithful to give of himself for his men and his country, particularly the deciding factor that instilled in Gene the courage to continue fighting for his next breath, the reason that chopper came in to get him, and the reason he came home.
            
The next day as Hospice made preparations to transport him home, I rode in the van with him to begin his ascent into heaven. I stayed with him for the next three days and nights administering medications to him every two hours.  My presence and this service of love during this time alleviated his sisters from having to administer his medications to him which would have been very difficult for them.  I sat/dozed in a recliner or on the couch, next to his bed every night.  During the night Saturday I paid close attention listening a little harder, as I sensed his breathing was changing.  About 6:00 I began watching him closely.  His next dose of meds was scheduled at 6:20. His sister brought them in for me to administer and I indicated we would not need them.  I awakened his younger son and both sons, his sister and I watched him closely. We were all there when he drew his last two breaths. What a privilege to be with him when he took those last two breaths about 6:30 a.m. and the angels transported him to his heavenly home to receive his reward.  I wonder if he told my prince, “Your princess said to tell you ‘Hi?’”

What an honor and a privilege.  Only a God who loves and is overseeing our lives could orchestrate an event like this.  If I had gone earlier as we had originally planned I would not have been with him those last four days. I would not have been there for sisters Abby and  Sarah.  I would not have been there for his daughter as I helped her say goodbye to her daddy.  He was with my husband on the darkest night of his soul, and Captain, along with God’s orchestration, was the reason my husband continued to fight to live and draw his next breath December 3, 1968, returning home to his family.  He met and married me and continued to live the life God planned for him.  We logged in 36 years of marriage.  We had some major difficult times, but I believe we discovered, by God's grace, what He meant marriage to be this side of  heaven. One of the greatest struggles for soldiers is survivor’s guilt. Upon returning home they all ask why they lived and their buddies did not.  Gene struggled with this as much as anyone.  However, once again, God healed his heart.  As God continued to work in his life, at one point Gene told me, “Carol, I now know exactly why I came home from Viet Nam.  It is to help others find their way back to God.”  Isn’t that a miracle of healing?  And indeed he did just that.

God did certainly do a miraculous work in Gene’s life, not only physically, but emotionally and spiritually.  I have all of his medical records from the time he was transported to the Repose in a 4 ½ x 8 ½ x 11” box. Gene had multiple shrapnel injuries.  According to these records, his wounds consisted of: a traumatic left leg amputation above the knee, left elbow was an open fracture, with massive tissue loss, and shrapnel wounds of the ulna, and radius, left radial nerve damage and artery involvement.  There is marked deformity of the semilunar notch of the ulna.  There is incomplete bony union at the radial and ulnar fracture sites, shrapnel wounds to the left flank, and right arm and inguinal region. They specifically state, “Left leg did not accompany patient to hospital.” Gene told me doctors wanted to amputate his left arm telling him he would never be able to use it.  Gene says he refused to accept that prognosis; thus, they placed pins in his elbow and he remained in traction for about 6 weeks, and grafted skin from his right thigh. It took a while, but God healed Gene from his PTSD and he not only survived, but he thrived.  Years later, doctors would marvel at how much use he actually gained in his left arm.  He worked very hard to get it functional.  This is another tribute to the type of man Captain identified in him.  He was a hero, but more importantly he was my hero.

Fast forward March 10, 2019, and I am with Captain Smallwood as he takes his last two breaths, 6:30 am, as the angels transport him into the presence of his Savior.  It seemed to be a complete Circle of Life.  Captain dispensing courage to Gene on a battlefield in a foreign land, and I stand with him as he is ushered from this spiritual battle field into his heavenly home. What a privilege and an honor to take care of the man who took care of my husband.  All of us were exactly where God orchestrated us to be.  He does do all things well all for our greater good and His glory.

I spent time with his family and his sisters and I emotionally bonded with them during this most difficult time. It was all God ordained. I stand and marvel in awe at how well God orchestrates our lives, if we are willing to listen and step where he leads. 

So might I ask you, where is he leading?  What is he telling you? He is speaking, but the question might be, are you placing yourself in a quiet enough place that you can hear that still small voice.  It is only through solitude, quietness, and stillness that God speaks.  Are you listening?  He created us in His image, in love, for love, and to be loved, and to bring him glory.  Are you finding your way back to Him, so you can help others do the same?  Gene Greenberg and Captain Donald B. Smallwood completed their mission here on this earth and he and his Captain are enjoying their reward together. And one day I will be united with my Prince.  In the meantime I serve the Prince of Peace, Jesus.

11 Comments
STEPHEN WHEAT link
3/31/2019 12:01:46 pm

Hello Carol Denson Greenberg Lpc, My name is Steve Wheat and I am in the Society of the Fifth Div. I met you once at a reunion in Georgia when I was the DJ at one of the banquets. The words that you shared on the blog above regarding your husband Gene and Capt. Smallwood are as unique as I am sure all of you are. I was in 1/61 Batallion and never got to meet Gene or know Capt. Smallwood but I do know a lot of the soldiers they led and hold both men in the highest of esteem. I likewise put you in the same category as them because of the kindness you showed toward to Gene as his wife and to Capt. Smallwood as caretaker during his last days. You are no shrinking violet and I admire your strength tempered with compassion. As editor of the Red Diamond newsletter, with your permission I would like to use your words in our next edition (May). I am dedicating that edition as a memorial to Capt. Smallwood and I am sure the other members would be as touched and encouraged as I was by reading your words and considering what God has in store for us if we choose to follow Him. Thank you. Stephen Wheat, Alpha 1/61, Society of the Fifth Division.

Reply
Brenda Smallwood
3/31/2019 07:56:21 pm

Carol: Thank you for such a beautiful, heartfelt remembrance of my daddy. I'm still missing him every day, but your love and care made saying goodbye a bit easier. You will always hold a special place in my heart, both for your love and regard for dad, as well as for helping me through one of the darkest times of my life. Being able to spend those last moments with him, pouring out my heart as a "Daddy's girl" one last time... that last tightening of his fingers around mine... that final hug and kissing his sweet face... I would not have these precious memories had you not been there to hold me (literally and spiritually). To me, you are more than a cherished friend... you are family.

Much love, always...
Brenda

Reply
Gloria Thompson
4/1/2019 09:08:23 am

Hoorah 🇺🇸...what a beautiful remembrance..God Bless our men and women that have fought a good fight for our freedom.. a story that will not be forgotten ..

Reply
Natasha Littlestar
4/1/2019 11:02:25 am

Carol,
This story of God's Amazing grace an the sacrifice these men made, astonish me. Each and Every day my husband, son and I talk about our favorite parts of the day. On Thursday I told them this was my favorite part, hearing the story of this beautiful circle you got to encounter. Keep telling this story. It's Magnificent!

Reply
Sabrina Strawn
4/5/2019 04:15:53 pm

Beautiful testimony, Carol.

Reply
Barbara
4/6/2019 02:24:52 pm

This was a very touching story. I’m sure it will bless the hearts of many a soldier and their families. God is our refuge
Stay the faith my sister.

Reply
Judith Shepherd
4/6/2019 08:00:31 pm

A wonderful story, Carol. We can only imagine the sacrifice of these brave men and their wives and are grateful for their service. Thank you for sharing...you were a blessing to many.

Reply
carol greenberg link
4/6/2019 08:03:35 pm

Thank you all for taking the time to read and comment. We are all on a journey to be the best we can be. He orchestrates well, for our greater good and for His glory. God bless

Reply
Sarah Smallwood Varnum
4/25/2019 09:19:32 am

Mama had a girl first, then Donald!!! But along came 5 more girls and at last two more boys.There were 9 us and we grew up in the swamps of Gulf Hammock, Florida. Surrounded by 6 girls for so many years, Donald had to be tough to survive. We all worked hard and Donald plowed the mule to help with the crops for our food. If the mule didn't obey, it sometimes took a good hard kick to convince him to submit. When times became a little better a tractor was purchased and one day it wouldn't start and Donald gave it a kick.. I was fortunate enough to behold this and thoroughly enjoyed watching him grab his foot and hold it while hopping up and down and muttering some sort of what I feel surely was an apology to the tractor. Our growing up was hard work but we invented much fun and laughter and our big brother had a hand in that. He'd play his harmonica while we clapped and sang, and he thought up all sorts of poems and songs for our entertainment. When we moved from Gulf Hammock, Donald was in the 12th grade and ran away from our new home and joined the army. I could write a book about our early lives, but won't try on Carol's blog.

In late January 2019, I went to Florida to help my sister, Abby, care for Donald. He was very sick at the time and was suffering so much, but it was still heart wrenching to hear him tell the doctors he wanted to go home to die. Then entered our angel, Carol. Abby and I had never met her, but she flew in from Texas and visited with us, then ordered Abby and me to go find something to eat and go home to rest. We were concerned that she was tired after flying but she wouldn't budge, so we did. We were emotionally and physically spent but she took such good care of our brother and rode the transport home with him the next day. Then, she slept right by him and sometimes we'd find her lying on the foot of his bed in case he stirred or needed something. She held him in her arms when he needed calming, and was so gentle with him. When he finally drew his last breath, she canceled all her appointments for a week and stayed for his burial. What a wonderful strength she was to all of us. There are some things words can't express and I feel very helpless in trying, but we all love you, Carol, and thank the Lord for you.

Thanks to Ron and Linda Gerdes and all who came to visit him and cheer him in the hospital and to all those who came to cheer us at his burial. We won't forget you!

Reply
Ron Varnum
4/25/2019 09:54:42 am

Hello Carol,

I'm Sarah Smallwood Varnum's eldest son. I just finished reading your account of the events leading up to and including my Uncle Donald's passing. I want to thank you for your service to my country via the love and support you gave your husband Gene, and my family via the loving care you gave my Uncle Donald and his family during his last days. A little while ago my Mom called me. She was in tears because she had been working on her comment for a good while and suddenly it was gone. She declares it didn’t happen, but I think she fell asleep with her finger on the “Enter” key. 😊 After we deleted all the line feeds and found the text, I helped her go through it a final time before submitting it, I was laughing and crying while reading it. I then read the blog you wrote, and I was very moved by your story. I want to say that I agree with Brenda, you are more than a friend to the family, you are family.

Thank you,
Ron Varnum (Rannie)

Reply
Jim Purtell link
6/8/2019 07:38:27 pm

This was a very touching story Carol. Thank you.

Reply



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