If you read the last post, you read the part where I said I wanted God, but I wanted him on my terms. I wanted him to bless my life...Gee, after all, isn't that what he said he would do? I was in the pilot's seat, assuming he was in the Co-pilot's seat. If you had asked me I would have looked at you like you had a hole in your head...Unfortunately, I had a hole in my heart that I was trying to fill with everything...my way. This is a poem, God gave me during those times of learning the difficult lesson of submission through the story of the Potter's Wheel in Jeremiah. God is God and I am not! I'm still learning. What about you? Click on "read more" to follow that particular journey of my heart.....
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Sometimes the best gifts come in small, unsuspecting packages….”Away in A Manger….” I ended the last blog entry with, “by God’s Grace I will.” And I’m starting this entry with “Yes, by God’s grace I did.” If you want to know more about that scroll down and read the previous blog. This journey for the past two months has been a process. Process? Hmm…some of my clients have come to dislike that word. But…it is a process and it has been churning beneath the surface for several weeks. I’m reminded of the picture I got while we were at Sea World. We were waiting for Shamu and his friends to make their grand entrance into the pool in front of us. The trainers had opened the gate and we were just waiting. Suddenly the water started to move as if there were some deep undercurrent. It flowed along in waves as if being stirred from deep within. As we watched suddenly Shamu and friends began jumping, no flying out of the water to do belly flops or nose dives right in front of us. Yes, there was definitely movement under the surface. Getting these thoughts on the page was much like that as they began swirling under the water in the deepest undercurrents of my heart…making it to the surface of my mind in a literal way to splash across the paper. The process…as God has been orchestrating these thoughts… keep reading.... Change is difficult in the best of circumstances. However, in the season of the Thanksgiving and Christmas Holidays…it is beyond difficult when change involves family members not being present. I wish we could just get used to the idea that change is inevitable. When we are in the midst of a difficult time…we wonder if it will ever be over.
As a child I would sit and watch the clouds. I remember the first time I saw what I thought was the moon moving. I ran inside and told my dad, “Dad, I saw the moon moving!” My dad explained, “That’s not the moon moving. That’s the clouds moving that makes it look like the moon is moving.” “Oh, I said.” And I ran back outside to watch again. I think I became a cloud watcher that early evening. I’m sitting here reading a book entitled Sin Matters." The author talks about a lot of things, but I’m reading the chapter entitled "Headed Home." He talks about us leaving home…separation…. for the first time and our missing all the familiar sights, and sounds and people…as we wonder if we can make it. Sometimes it is when Kindergarten starts…and sometimes manifests itself in tears and some insecurity…sometimes it’s when parents leave on a trip and we long for them to return. Sometimes it’s when we go visit a relative, friend, grandparent and we feel "undone" as we manage ourselves in the "separated state" whatever that might be. Then sometimes it is when we leave home to make it on our own…and how sometimes we long to go back…or not. And sometimes it is the loss of a loved one who really went Home! Oh, how we miss them.
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HOLD ON. . .
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