Grief is Loud

Grief is loud
   Very loud
It only looks quiet
  Around others…
      As I hold it at bay
But grief is very loud
  It screams in my ears!
  It screams in my head!
  It screams in my heart!

My whole body is screaming
Every fiber of my being screams in grief
   Deep, agonizing, gut-wrenching grief
Grief is relentless
  Does it ever end?
If so, someone please tell me when.
I’m ready

Not ready to forget my love
But ready for the pain in my heart to stop
My heart is broken in half
It is blown apart
  Blood is gushing
I’m bleeding-out emotionally
Yes, Grief is loud
  Very, very loud
Even years later,
Sometimes, Grief is still very loud

Grief causes tears to fall
Grief causes my voice to scream
Grief causes my body to wrack in pain
Grief causes my brain to ask “Why?”
But grief lends no understanding
Grief brings confusion
   Sadness
   Frustration
   Anger
Grief is anything but quite!
Grief is loud
    Very loud
    Very, very loud
And Grief hurts
Did I tell you, Grief hurts?

  Oh yes…it does definitely hurt
Grief is loud
Is it possible to quite it?
  How can I?
Embrace the pain…
  Feel it….every fiber of it
Hold it…
   Notice it…   
Sit with it...
   Experience it…
   And let God hold you
While you comfort the birth of this new baby
…Grief
Grief is loud
That baby named Grief will grow up
She will move away,
She may return to visit periodically
     But she won't stay as long 
     And she won't mess with your heart nearly as long
           or as much
     And many times you can choose 
How you want to interact with her
     Sometimes it seems like she goes to sleep
     Only to awaken with a very loud scream in your heart
But the cycle of screaming gets farther and farther apart
     Grief becomes a constant companion but not nearly as noisy
         Not nearly as painful
Your heart settles down and you embrace your new normal
…But realize...
Grief is loud.